May 2 | Gabriele Hickman


According to Rob Bricken (I don’t know the guy), the 12 best villain voices of all time are the following:

1) Mark Hamill as The Joker, Batman: The Animated Series
2) Clancy Brown as Lex Luthor, Superman: The Animated Series
3) Jeremy Irons as Scar, The Lion King
4) Douglas Rain as Hal 9000, 2001
5) Helena Bonham Carter as Bellatrix LeStrange, Harry Potter
6) Chris Latta as Cobra Commander, G.I. Joe: A Real American Hero
7) James Earl Jones as Darth Vader, Star Wars
8) Ron Perlman as Deathstroke, Teen Titans
9) John Hurt as The Horned King, The Black Cauldron
10) Powers Boothe as Gorilla Grodd, Justice League
11) Eleanor Audley as Maleficent, Sleeping Beauty
12) Frank Welker as Dr. Claw, Inspector Gadget

I want you to pick one and read the following scripture from 2 Samuel with that voice in mind:

“Let me choose 12,000 men to start out after David tonight.  I will catch up with him while he is weary and discouraged. He and his troops will panic, and everyone will run away. Then I will kill only the king,  and I will bring all the people back to you as a bride returns to her husband. After all, it is only one man’s life that you seek.”

This is a teaser of the backstory behind Psalm 3, so go read 2 Samuel 15-17. If you’re like me and find the text rather boring, read the dialogue in the villain voice you chose. It’ll make it more exciting.

If you choose not to read it because you’re still hungover from finals, here’s the thesis: David is fleeing from his son who is trying to kill him.

And in Psalm he cries out to God about these 12,000 enemies, and he kindly asks God to slap them all in the face.

I would never have the audacity to ask God to slap someone, much less 12,0000 someones, in the face.  And though I don’t find it pleasant to ask God to inflict violence on a people, I will say I’ve always admired that David asks for what he wants. He’s not afraid to ask or hide what is bothering him, and what God can do about it, even if it’s in this twisted, barbaric format of a response.

It makes me wonder what it would look like if I prayed like David in chapters 3 and 4, if I

  • Demanded God to answer me

  • Tell God that He declares me innocent

  • Tell God to take action, to rescue me, to bless his people

  • Tell God to slap my demons in the face

And better yet, what would it look like if I responded like David, with trust, passion, servanthood, humbleness, and faithfulness.

I think it may look like 2 Samuel 18.

Victory and mourning.

Life and death.

The full breadth of the human experience for us to taste and see.

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